To my love

The thing that you ignite inside of me..
is not merely a thought, feeling, or even desire.
It is an ache.
Something mildly uncomfortable, all-consuming,
demanding of my attention, calling me to come.

When I am near you, I find stillness.
Aloneness that isn't lonely, because I sense nothing is lacking,
and I'm not really by myself.
The tall, steady all-encompassing things that are inside of you
keep me company.

I find a different kind of silence in you.
One that's not so disconcerting.
A silence that surrounds and supports me,
doesn't smother me.
A silence that brings clarity and perspective.

You remind me of my insignificance, of my smallness.
But you don't belittle me.
It's only because of your bigness and your power.
You are so wonderfully and unfathomably strong.
Steady, secure, immovable.

In you, I feel I am a part of something bigger.
Small- maybe even non-essential- but connected.
The way you are so self-sufficient and independent
takes the weight off of my shoulders.
I know I don't need to change, save, fix, or add anything to you.

You seem untouched by me, but not distant.
You draw my attention away from where I was or where I'm going,
to where I am.
You bring me to the only place and time that I ever really have, that really exists:
here and now.

The closer I get to you, the more intricate you become.
I can get lost in you, in your vastness and uncontrollability.
Your unpredictability reminds me of how fragile and temporary I am,
and I find comfort in that.

When I'm away from you, I want to be with you.
When I'm near you, I want to be closer still.
When I am in you, I never want to leave.

You, my love, are the mountains.
The mountains are my lover.