what if we took verses like these seriously?
"all who desire to live a Godly life in Christ WILL BE PERSECUTED" 2 tim 3:12
"then Jesus will say to those on his left, 'depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. for I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'" matt 25:40-41
we are representing Christ. why cant we understand that?
we value safety and security so much in america. we refuse to risk it, to let our children risk it. its not safe to approach a poor man on the street, a thirsty man asking for water, a demon-possessed man, a stranger. so what do we do? we walk right on by, risking nothing. when that man is Jesus. is Jesus then, not safe? because His clothes are dirty, and He doesnt have a home?
more to come.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
the Feast
Come now and join the feast,
from the greatest to the very least,
come now and join the feast,
right here in the belly of the beast.
Cops and soldiers you can come too,
just lay down your guns and come on through.
Rich people get rid of your stuff,
and poor people there will be enough.
Mighty ones come down from your thrones,
and little ones you will not be alone.
Come now and join the feast,
from the greatest to the very least,
come now and join the feast,
right here in the belly of the beast.
Lazy man come to the table,
and make some room for those who ain't able.
Pretty winners swallow your pride,
drink the ugly loser who for all died.
Make sure everyone has some,
and then we'll see the the Kingdom...
from the greatest to the very least,
come now and join the feast,
right here in the belly of the beast.
Cops and soldiers you can come too,
just lay down your guns and come on through.
Rich people get rid of your stuff,
and poor people there will be enough.
Mighty ones come down from your thrones,
and little ones you will not be alone.
Come now and join the feast,
from the greatest to the very least,
come now and join the feast,
right here in the belly of the beast.
Lazy man come to the table,
and make some room for those who ain't able.
Pretty winners swallow your pride,
drink the ugly loser who for all died.
Make sure everyone has some,
and then we'll see the the Kingdom...
Sunday, September 19, 2010
be salty.
it is not up to my discretion where i live, it is Christs decision. its not up to me who i talk to today, its His call. this dollar is not my own, it is His and His alone.
i died the moment i told Him i 'accepted' Him. the moment i gave Him my life, i gave Him all my dreams and aspirations and desires and fears and the way i do things.
these days, there is an issue with people coming to 'know' Christ, but not counting the cost of discipleship. i wonder if at those huge rallies or conferences, when people rush forward at the altar call, if Jesus is standing there, screaming at them to take a second, and count the cost.
i definitely didnt know the cost. i didnt know that i would have to wake up every morning and die, that i would have to renounce everything. it wasnt until 2 weeks ago i took those words in luke 14 seriously. and its realy discontenting, humbling, and convicting.
i can lay down all of my material possessions with more ease than most people, but my personality is harder for me to surrender. ive spent 17 years cultivating this person i want to be, how i want to act, who i want to be. but, like i said, im dead. it really isnt that abby that lives anymore. it is only Christ. the same Jesus that walked 2000 years ago, still alive in me today.
i hope this realization makes its way from my head to my heart, soon and very soon. then it will produce a change that puts a smile on His face.
http://www.brookhills.org/media/series/radical/
Luke 14:25-34
Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish. Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. 33In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple. Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.
"He who has ears to hear, let him hear."
i died the moment i told Him i 'accepted' Him. the moment i gave Him my life, i gave Him all my dreams and aspirations and desires and fears and the way i do things.
these days, there is an issue with people coming to 'know' Christ, but not counting the cost of discipleship. i wonder if at those huge rallies or conferences, when people rush forward at the altar call, if Jesus is standing there, screaming at them to take a second, and count the cost.
i definitely didnt know the cost. i didnt know that i would have to wake up every morning and die, that i would have to renounce everything. it wasnt until 2 weeks ago i took those words in luke 14 seriously. and its realy discontenting, humbling, and convicting.
i can lay down all of my material possessions with more ease than most people, but my personality is harder for me to surrender. ive spent 17 years cultivating this person i want to be, how i want to act, who i want to be. but, like i said, im dead. it really isnt that abby that lives anymore. it is only Christ. the same Jesus that walked 2000 years ago, still alive in me today.
i hope this realization makes its way from my head to my heart, soon and very soon. then it will produce a change that puts a smile on His face.
http://www.brookhills.org/media/series/radical/
Luke 14:25-34
Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish. Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. 33In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple. Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.
"He who has ears to hear, let him hear."
Saturday, September 18, 2010
sometimes i am amazed that i am alive.
and unfortunately, sometimes i wonder if i really am.
Abba, wake me up. bring me to life.
something about the last few days is really beautiful. i like where this is going.
Abba, wake me up. bring me to life.
something about the last few days is really beautiful. i like where this is going.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
mvulana amevaa jeusi.
my writing usually isnt very quality if it has a positive vibe to it. but i dont care right now.
i have a friend, and he wants to go into the military and be a ranger officer, if thats even what theyre called. for the longest time i wrote him off because he wore all black and never smiled unless he was laughing at other people's ignorance. long story short, now we hate eachother a little less. but the point is, he wants to join the military. seeing as he is my good friend, and i know and trust that He is wholeheartedly seeking the Lord and His will for his life, this causes some issues not only between us, but within my own mind. he has caused me to question my beliefs and opinions, which we all know i hold so dearly.
so, we talk. once. just about nothing of relevance, really. our lives, or lack there of. end with no conclusion. but it was good, nonetheless.
next, we talk again. i ask him questions like, so who do you decide is worth killing? does God value one life over another? what is a good reason for justifying taking another mans life into your own hands? what is it that you are really defending? your faith, your country, your God? im pretty sure He can hold His own. what about turning the other cheek, and sacrificing your very life? what about loving your enemies?
but on the contrary, what if we didnt have the freedom of religion? what if this country wasnt free to worship God in public or in private? what if no one ever fought for their freedom or for another persons well-being, even for justice? well, evil would rule the world even more than it does now, i suppose. that begs the question, what are you really fighting? flesh & blood or the spirits of darkness? how do you battle the spirits of darkness with a gun and some bullets?
how do you expect to kill someone's grandfather, then me to come in to them and try to show and tell them about the Love of Christ? how would they take that, you have discredited all work i could do.
as you can see, it goes back and forth. the only conclusion i have come to in my own mind, is that we live in a fallen world. ideally, there would be no war, but there is. i know that all humans are equal in the eyes of the Lord, He loves all fiercely and impartially, He gives all a chance of eternal life with Him. He doesn't pick and choose, He offers Himself to all.
wow im just getting really overwhelmed trying to sort this out in my brain. i dont think it will happen. i may or may not finish this later.
i have a friend, and he wants to go into the military and be a ranger officer, if thats even what theyre called. for the longest time i wrote him off because he wore all black and never smiled unless he was laughing at other people's ignorance. long story short, now we hate eachother a little less. but the point is, he wants to join the military. seeing as he is my good friend, and i know and trust that He is wholeheartedly seeking the Lord and His will for his life, this causes some issues not only between us, but within my own mind. he has caused me to question my beliefs and opinions, which we all know i hold so dearly.
so, we talk. once. just about nothing of relevance, really. our lives, or lack there of. end with no conclusion. but it was good, nonetheless.
next, we talk again. i ask him questions like, so who do you decide is worth killing? does God value one life over another? what is a good reason for justifying taking another mans life into your own hands? what is it that you are really defending? your faith, your country, your God? im pretty sure He can hold His own. what about turning the other cheek, and sacrificing your very life? what about loving your enemies?
but on the contrary, what if we didnt have the freedom of religion? what if this country wasnt free to worship God in public or in private? what if no one ever fought for their freedom or for another persons well-being, even for justice? well, evil would rule the world even more than it does now, i suppose. that begs the question, what are you really fighting? flesh & blood or the spirits of darkness? how do you battle the spirits of darkness with a gun and some bullets?
how do you expect to kill someone's grandfather, then me to come in to them and try to show and tell them about the Love of Christ? how would they take that, you have discredited all work i could do.
as you can see, it goes back and forth. the only conclusion i have come to in my own mind, is that we live in a fallen world. ideally, there would be no war, but there is. i know that all humans are equal in the eyes of the Lord, He loves all fiercely and impartially, He gives all a chance of eternal life with Him. He doesn't pick and choose, He offers Himself to all.
wow im just getting really overwhelmed trying to sort this out in my brain. i dont think it will happen. i may or may not finish this later.
Monday, September 6, 2010
can i be honest?
well honestly, i want someone to walk through the forest with me with a film camera over their shoulder. i want to be with this person and feel like ive escaped. i want to talk about things like devendra banharts beard and yerba mate. i want this person to understand me, like really understand me. i want this person to make me more like who i want to be.
i hope Jesus would walk through the woods with me shoeless, not saying a word the whole time.
i want someone who understands why i enjoy talking to a dragonfly for 30 minutes, and who laughs at things i think are funny. i want someone who is different from the rest of everyone. i want to be the only one who really knows this person. i want them to love raja the way i do.
i want them to be balanced. i want them to hate roses and diamonds and cats like i do. i want them to widdle me a ring. i want them to wear flannel way too much and play the cello. i want them to be creative, to make me creative. i want them to want me to do different things and be an artist and get out of my comfort zone. i want them to stretch me and grow me and cultivate me and change me and break me and put me back together again. i dont want them to ever say anything they dont mean, but i dont want them to have a reason for everything they do. i want to be their harmony. i want someone who doesnt worry. i want someone who thinks in patterns and cycles, but doesnt think about the way they think. i want someone who collects leaves like i do, and i want someone to lift me onto the tree branch and push me off when i need it. i want someone who cares about bugs the way i do. i want someone who would rather see the sunrise.
i want someone who is my home.
i want someone to get lost with.
i want someone who probably doesnt even exist.
i hope Jesus would walk through the woods with me shoeless, not saying a word the whole time.
i want someone who understands why i enjoy talking to a dragonfly for 30 minutes, and who laughs at things i think are funny. i want someone who is different from the rest of everyone. i want to be the only one who really knows this person. i want them to love raja the way i do.
i want them to be balanced. i want them to hate roses and diamonds and cats like i do. i want them to widdle me a ring. i want them to wear flannel way too much and play the cello. i want them to be creative, to make me creative. i want them to want me to do different things and be an artist and get out of my comfort zone. i want them to stretch me and grow me and cultivate me and change me and break me and put me back together again. i dont want them to ever say anything they dont mean, but i dont want them to have a reason for everything they do. i want to be their harmony. i want someone who doesnt worry. i want someone who thinks in patterns and cycles, but doesnt think about the way they think. i want someone who collects leaves like i do, and i want someone to lift me onto the tree branch and push me off when i need it. i want someone who cares about bugs the way i do. i want someone who would rather see the sunrise.
i want someone who is my home.
i want someone to get lost with.
i want someone who probably doesnt even exist.
these days.
i dont think i am who i want to be. i think i want to be something im not. i think too much and dont do enough. i do too much without thinking.
i hate when i say things that dont make a difference. i hate words that dont do anything to change the world one bit.
my dad says wisdom is just keeping your eyes open. learning from your own mistakes, learning from others mistakes. unfortunately, this is a challenge for me. its hard to stay awake sometimes, when theres nothing worth experiencing.
the Lord disciplines those He loves. He disciplines His children. and He has been disciplining me a lot lately. removing the feeling that kept me going, to show me that the feeling is what kept me going. making me walk by faith, not by sight.
by giving me friends that say things that id rather not hear, to show me that my pride is what covers my ears and eyes. i keep asking for humility, and He is faithful. thats for sure. He has been breaking my pride and crushing everything i thought i knew about Him.
i think i live like i eat. i think like i eat.
i go through phases of specific food. right now my diet consists of yogurt, berries, hummus, spinach dip, guacamole, mangoes, pesto pasta. thats literally it. next month, i wont want anything to do with those food items ever again.
as of late, ive noticed i develop cycles like that in my mind.
for instance, "God is a God of order". someone plants that idea in my mind, and i sit with it. i sit with this small clay ball in my lap, this thought. then, i think and i pray and i ponder and i forget and i remember and i keep thinking and eventually, i come to a conclusion about my "God is a God of order" clay ball, and i add some clay, and make it circular. then, i realize that conclusion is wrong, so i break it off and start over, adding another right conclusion. and so on and so forth. but anyway, i feel like my mind is full of the same floating ideas, just occasionally making their way to the front, to take their turn at my conciousness. then, they disappear again.
having said that, thats all i have to say about that. i dont mind it. i dont really like it. it is what it is.
but anyway, i spent the weekend camping. my father told me, "growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional". wisdom and maturity is the current clay ball that im cultivating.
proverbs 3 He says that "by wisdom the LORD laid the earth's foundations,by understanding he set the heavens in place;by his knowledge the deeps were divided, and the clouds let drop the dew"
so in essence, wisdom is the very structure of all creation. if we go against wisdom, and live foolish and misguided lives, we will not live in harmony with creation, or its Creator.
all this to say, apparently wisdom is really important. and i never really grasped that. i still dont now, but atleast i know that its something to be grasped right?
i feel like im standing at not only a crossroads, but in the middle of a forest. with really overwhelming trees that are entirely too large to comprehend. and its beautiful, but im wandering. and we all know that not all who wander are lost. im excited about moving, about going somewhere and walking barefoot over trees and falling down and scraping my knees and running into the proverbial spider webs of life. im excited to live. but right now, im laying down on the leaves, looking up, trying to understand the sunshine and why ants never stop moving. im ready to sit up, and start going somewhere. and the beauty is, He is there with me. He is the trees, the ants, the sunshine and the spider webs. He is everything i understand Him to be and so much more than i could ever know.
im going to start taking pictures again. but this time it might be a little bit different. i also want to redo my room. hm.
i hate when i say things that dont make a difference. i hate words that dont do anything to change the world one bit.
my dad says wisdom is just keeping your eyes open. learning from your own mistakes, learning from others mistakes. unfortunately, this is a challenge for me. its hard to stay awake sometimes, when theres nothing worth experiencing.
the Lord disciplines those He loves. He disciplines His children. and He has been disciplining me a lot lately. removing the feeling that kept me going, to show me that the feeling is what kept me going. making me walk by faith, not by sight.
by giving me friends that say things that id rather not hear, to show me that my pride is what covers my ears and eyes. i keep asking for humility, and He is faithful. thats for sure. He has been breaking my pride and crushing everything i thought i knew about Him.
i think i live like i eat. i think like i eat.
i go through phases of specific food. right now my diet consists of yogurt, berries, hummus, spinach dip, guacamole, mangoes, pesto pasta. thats literally it. next month, i wont want anything to do with those food items ever again.
as of late, ive noticed i develop cycles like that in my mind.
for instance, "God is a God of order". someone plants that idea in my mind, and i sit with it. i sit with this small clay ball in my lap, this thought. then, i think and i pray and i ponder and i forget and i remember and i keep thinking and eventually, i come to a conclusion about my "God is a God of order" clay ball, and i add some clay, and make it circular. then, i realize that conclusion is wrong, so i break it off and start over, adding another right conclusion. and so on and so forth. but anyway, i feel like my mind is full of the same floating ideas, just occasionally making their way to the front, to take their turn at my conciousness. then, they disappear again.
having said that, thats all i have to say about that. i dont mind it. i dont really like it. it is what it is.
but anyway, i spent the weekend camping. my father told me, "growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional". wisdom and maturity is the current clay ball that im cultivating.
proverbs 3 He says that "by wisdom the LORD laid the earth's foundations,by understanding he set the heavens in place;by his knowledge the deeps were divided, and the clouds let drop the dew"
so in essence, wisdom is the very structure of all creation. if we go against wisdom, and live foolish and misguided lives, we will not live in harmony with creation, or its Creator.
all this to say, apparently wisdom is really important. and i never really grasped that. i still dont now, but atleast i know that its something to be grasped right?
i feel like im standing at not only a crossroads, but in the middle of a forest. with really overwhelming trees that are entirely too large to comprehend. and its beautiful, but im wandering. and we all know that not all who wander are lost. im excited about moving, about going somewhere and walking barefoot over trees and falling down and scraping my knees and running into the proverbial spider webs of life. im excited to live. but right now, im laying down on the leaves, looking up, trying to understand the sunshine and why ants never stop moving. im ready to sit up, and start going somewhere. and the beauty is, He is there with me. He is the trees, the ants, the sunshine and the spider webs. He is everything i understand Him to be and so much more than i could ever know.
im going to start taking pictures again. but this time it might be a little bit different. i also want to redo my room. hm.
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