mvulana amevaa jeusi.

my writing usually isnt very quality if it has a positive vibe to it. but i dont care right now.
i have a friend, and he wants to go into the military and be a ranger officer, if thats even what theyre called. for the longest time i wrote him off because he wore all black and never smiled unless he was laughing at other people's ignorance. long story short, now we hate eachother a little less. but the point is, he wants to join the military. seeing as he is my good friend, and i know and trust that He is wholeheartedly seeking the Lord and His will for his life, this causes some issues not only between us, but within my own mind. he has caused me to question my beliefs and opinions, which we all know i hold so dearly.
so, we talk. once. just about nothing of relevance, really. our lives, or lack there of. end with no conclusion. but it was good, nonetheless.
next, we talk again. i ask him questions like, so who do you decide is worth killing? does God value one life over another? what is a good reason for justifying taking another mans life into your own hands? what is it that you are really defending? your faith, your country, your God? im pretty sure He can hold His own. what about turning the other cheek, and sacrificing your very life? what about loving your enemies?
but on the contrary, what if we didnt have the freedom of religion? what if this country wasnt free to worship God in public or in private? what if no one ever fought for their freedom or for another persons well-being, even for justice? well, evil would rule the world even more than it does now, i suppose. that begs the question, what are you really fighting? flesh & blood or the spirits of darkness? how do you battle the spirits of darkness with a gun and some bullets?
how do you expect to kill someone's grandfather, then me to come in to them and try to show and tell them about the Love of Christ? how would they take that, you have discredited all work i could do.
as you can see, it goes back and forth. the only conclusion i have come to in my own mind, is that we live in a fallen world. ideally, there would be no war, but there is. i know that all humans are equal in the eyes of the Lord, He loves all fiercely and impartially, He gives all a chance of eternal life with Him. He doesn't pick and choose, He offers Himself to all.


wow im just getting really overwhelmed trying to sort this out in my brain. i dont think it will happen. i may or may not finish this later.