here are the do's and dont's of dating as far as i am concerned:
1. do NOT date.
2. DO not date.
im having to come to terms with the fact that maybe no one will make me as happy as he did. that my feelings werent artificial, but substantial. that the smiles were real. ive noticed something odd, that i dont even look the same anymore.
even my appearance is affected by the overwhelming heaviness, and now i dont have anyone to make it lighter and make me smile, really smile.
seeing as i havent been alone once in the past three years, i think this is something i will be struggling with for quite some time.
here's the upside: my joy comes from the Lord. i pray so fervently that this emptiness and this loneliness will leave a void only He can fill, and i pray that He gracefully and faithfully chooses to do so. that really is the only way i can make it through this time in my life. i dont want another person, i dont want someone i cant depend on for forever. i want my God to fill these holes and make me whole again. i want Him to put the smile on my face, i want Him to make me beautiful and share my burdens.
its just a matter of allowing Him to do that, right? i guess so. i sure pray so. i know He is capable, but is He willing? i believe so.
my God loves me so endlessly and ferociously. He is my lover.
this is the truth i will choose to dwell on.
An earthly companion, if God thinks you should have him, will only be a helper to you; and you to him. He will point you to God all the more. But he or you shouldn't dwell upon the other, but keep fixed straight ahead and if God wills your helper will be beside you.
ReplyDeleteI'm always here.