i want to see God like those two girls do. i want to love Him so evidently. i am jealous of that. is that a sin? i want to see His heart, His feet, His face. not just His works and His faithfulness. i am tired of just seeing the effects of Him and His character, i want to see HIM. its like trying to see the wind. if there wasnt anything for the wind to move, it wouldnt be visible. basically nonexistent. i want Him to be so real to me He is almost tangible. maybe Haiti will help. maybe ill meet a whole new side of Him there. [be careful what you pray for]
i decided that maybe God has someone for me and maybe i should wait it out for him. meeting that one guy at that one coffee shop has made me think there is someone compatible somewhere in the world, and he might just be worth waiting for. he will be my home. im falling in love with him in this airport in dallas. how weird.
Lord, use me. shape me. mold me. break me. shape me. change me. i am Yours. i surrender. thank You, praise You, for you are working in her. Lord, strengthen my faith, build me into who You want me to be. God, i have no earthly idea what to expect. i dont know what Youre doing or what Youll have me do. i know Youve been preparing me and i pray You continue doing that. i am clay in Your hands. my heart will be sensitive to Your touch, and it will break along with Yours. all i ask is, never leave me. be there to give me strength, words, peace. endure me. sustain me. You are all i need. i want to see a new side of You. open my eyes. i pray that Your will is done perfectly this week. hear my cries. please, let me dwell in Your house and gaze upon Your beauty all day long for the next week. God, make Yourself manifest!
being a woman of God
proverbs 31: dresses herself with strength, opens her hand to the poor, reaches out to the needy. strength and dignity are her clothing. laughs at the time to come. speaks wisdom, teaches kindness, fears the Lord.
1 peter 3: but let your adorning be the hidden person of your heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in Gods sight is very precious.
Lord, give me a strong, wise, kind, fearful, gentle, quiet spirit that You think is beautiful. prepare for me a husband thats worth submitting to.
so, the logistics of the travel situation are as follows:
we got stuck in the miami airport because our flight was delayed. i didnt get flustered because i promised Him i would trust Him. He really graced me with the knowledge that He is in control, so i was pretty good to go. except for the fact that that airport sucked so much! everything was metal and covered in sand and humid air and gross things like that. but, whatever. and i met shelby, she was cool. we talked for a while. my mom, shelby, and i all slept in a hotel in the airport until the next morning.
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