carlton gary

precursor: on wednesday, december 16, 2009 at 7 pm carlton gray was executed. he was said to have raped and murdered 7 different elderly women in columbus. this all took place in the 70's if i know what im talking about, but chances are i dont, so you should look it up for yourself. anyway, this completely broke my heart. i spent the larger part of the day crying and praying and asking others to pray.

i said the following to my breath of fresh air this morning:
"i was thinking to myself: i think about Jesus alot. i incorporate Him into my days, and Hes just a really big part of the decisions make.
all of which is, of course, wrong.
we are called to invite Him inside, to become one with Him. that being said, He shouldn't just be a part of my life, He should BE my life. He should BE the reason for everything i do, He shouldn't be what i think about, our thoughts should be one in the same. our hearts should be one in the same. i feel what He feels, and see what He sees (in relation to my view of others), and be who He is.
this is why i felt so deeply about carlton gray, the serial killer. because for some reason, i saw him, of all people, through Gods eyes. he was not a serial killer, a rapist, rather His creation, His child even (words WE came up with). he was a human being like i am, and if i could, would trade places with him. to give him another chance.
and we should view everything like this."

now:
1. thank you for provoking this conversation.
2. i feel this way about the one who hurt me most, also. i dont tell people because they think that theres some sort of misplaced psychological attachment there. but, thats not the case. i just love him the way Christ loves him, the way we are called to love ALL people. and just because he hurt me, maybe even ruined my life, doesnt make him any less of a person.
3. and on that note, i have realized another thing. whenever that happened to me, i was so hurt, and the wound was so big. i realized we hurt God in the same way. of course, not the EXACT same way, but it is the same concept. we took something beautiful and innocent and perfect that He created, and we ruined and distorted and manipulated it. we made it disgusting and ugly, when we stole it from Him. and that hurts so bad, i know it does. and heres the beautiful part: even after all that pain, He still loves us, He still gave us everything. literally, everything He had. we treat Him like a partial God, that He gives us 'just enough to survive'. show me scripture that supports that blasphemous idea? no! He gave us absolutely everything we could ever need, and then some. what a slap in the face to think otherwise. anyway, if He forgave us, for hurting Him so deeply, who are we not to forgive others. and i will take it a step further, and say love others. this is why i love him, regardless of the things he has done.
4. dont even get me started on capital punishment. if you really want to know, ask. maybe more to come, later on. way later on.