patheticism.

today has been especially tough. things shouldn't work this way.
I saw you, and you ignored me until I threatened to key your car. not even then would you make eye contact with me. because I am
no longer a human being to you, you no longer value me. now, I'm the devil. all I am to you is the epitamy of lies and heartache and hurt. forget all I've done right. forget the scrapbook and all the times I made you dinner, drove 45 minutes to make you pancakes and watch you work out. forget all the sweet nothings. because all that matters now is how selfish and decietful I am.
forget the fact that I sacrificed countless potential romantic relationships. forget that I sacrificed all my friendships for you. forget that I never kissed anyone else. none of that is relevant. what is relevant is almost a year ago, i had a connection with a guy. forget that I never pursued him, forget all his calls that I ignored, forget that I threw everything down the drain for you. all that matters is that I failed to mention that we occupied the same sleeping bag for ten minutes. I must deserve to go to hell for this, if I am no longer worthy of your eye contact or phone calls.
but don't worry, I understand. I understand that you never understood, never cared to listen.
you hold fast to your anger because that's the only thing you know. that's the only thing that will take you where you want to go, which is away from me. and if that's what you need to do, hate me, then sobeit. I just feel sorry for whoever the next girl you kiss. because whenever you touch her lips, you'll think of mine. and all of a sudden she won't matter anymore to you, because you know what you are trying to create will never amount to what we had.

don't believe me?
look at the scrapbook.
you believe me now.